The phrase “like father, like son” encapsulates the idea that sons often resemble their fathers, not only in appearance but also in behavior, traits, and interests. This adage is rooted in the belief that genetic inheritance and environmental influence shape children in ways that make them similar to their parents. While the phrase has ancient origins and is found in many cultures, its implications and significance continue to resonate in our contemporary society.
In my study during the month of June – celebrating fathers and upholding the idea of the necessity of men’s mental health, I have made the following realizations concerning the impact of this adage to the quality of life, relationships and the friendships men build:
Most parents will tell you that children often learn by observing and imitating them and because of this, fathers in particular can have a profound impact on their sons’ development through their actions, attitudes, and behaviors. For example, a father who values hard work and discipline is likely to instill these values in his son through both direct instruction and by serving as a living example. Fathers often serve as primary role models for their sons, demonstrating how to interact with others, manage conflicts, and express emotions. Sons who observe their fathers treating others with respect, kindness, and empathy are more likely to emulate these behaviors in their own relationships. Conversely, if a father displays negative behaviors such as aggression, disrespect, or emotional unavailability, his son may struggle to form healthy and positive relationships. I am using this primal relationship because I believe it has the biggest influence on how men become/behave later in life.
It has been realized for example, that the father-son dynamic can significantly influence a man’s emotional intelligence and communication skills. Fathers who are emotionally present and encourage open dialogue help their sons develop the ability to understand and articulate their feelings. This emotional literacy is crucial for building strong, supportive friendships and marriages. Sons who grow up in environments where emotions are repressed or dismissed may find it challenging to connect deeply with others or handle emotional complexities in relationships. I do not have to remind you that this is one of the greatest struggles men have usually in romantic relationships and the space of marriage.
Furthermore, supportive and nurturing father-son relationship can boost a man’s self-esteem and confidence. Fathers who provide affirmation, encouragement, and positive reinforcement help their sons develop a healthy sense of self-worth. This confidence translates into the ability to form and maintain relationships, assert boundaries, and engage in social activities. On the other hand, sons who experience criticism, neglect, or unrealistic expectations from their fathers may struggle with low self-esteem, making it harder for them to trust others and build meaningful connections.
In the family setting, the way a father handles conflicts within the family sets a precedent for how his son will approach disputes in his own relationships. Fathers who model constructive conflict resolution through calm discussion, compromise, and mutual respect equip their sons with the tools to manage disagreements effectively. Sons who witness or experience unresolved conflicts or aggressive confrontations may adopt these patterns, leading to difficulties in maintaining harmonious relationships and friendships. Some of things I am saying will paint pictures of what you have personally witnessed and wondered why a person would act the way they did but the emphasis is to help us understand that these things have roots and sources, and until an individual both identifies and addresses these roots, not much will change in their present dealings of life.
My father is a man that encourages social interactions; he has modelled positive friendships, and provided opportunities for socialization to us as his family and this has helped me to develop strong interpersonal skills. It is true that sons who observe their fathers maintaining healthy friendships are more likely to seek and value similar connections. Conversely, if a father is isolated or lacks positive friendships, his son might find it challenging to navigate social networks and build lasting friendships. This is how we find many men juggling unstable relationships and unfruitful friendships in their adult life. They struggle with uncertainty and confusion in terms of decision making and many things related to that.
Needless to say, God has given us grace and the opportunity by His Spirit and revelation, to renew our minds and have our lives transformed through the knowledge of Him. It doesn’t matter our background, or conditions under which we grew up, God can make us better people progressively as we know him deeply and continually submit to His Word.
It is important to recognize that the relationship you have with your parents and guardians has so much impact on how you become as a man. That is why it is important for women to be able to identify and pray for the influential people in their partners’ lives because these define so much that concerns their partners’ behavior and personalities.
The father-son relationship is a cornerstone of a man’s social development, deeply influencing how he forms and maintains relationships and friendships. Through modeling behavior, fostering emotional intelligence, and shaping self-esteem, fathers impart crucial lessons that sons carry into their interactions with others as men, husbands and later on as fathers too. Understanding the profound impact of this relationship can help fathers and sons alike recognize the importance of nurturing a healthy, supportive bond, ultimately leading to more fulfilling and harmonious social connections throughout life. Through this understanding, I believe we can have a better breed of men, fathers, and leaders in our generation.
Stay Blessed.
#WiGTyT
