As excruciatingly hot as May has been, we could all appreciate a day when it is simply cloudy and chilled; and one of the God given days made this a reality for me this last month. As I was still enjoying this privilege, it felt necessary for me to do chores, one of which was to sweep and tidy up the compound. Mind you, I have spent the largest part of May upcountry so there has been so much to do and to learn.
Now, if you have swept before in a windy situation, you very well know that somehow the things you are sweeping will be constantly blown in the opposite direction. Honestly, I did not mind the wind until I started to sweep.
The idea is that it is wise to do the sweeping either early morning when the wind is not as aggressive as it usually is during day. Furthermore, the disruption of the wind means that you either pause and wait for it to calm or else you will be doing double work because the wind will blow back everything you are trying to sweep away.
This got me thinking about something very crucial in our lives as peculiar people, and that is Commitment.
Whether it is in building a friendship, undertaking a business venture, serving in a church, or engaging personal disciplines, commitment is one of the things that fuel the success of anything we choose to do and therefore one of the most tested.
I will focus mostly on friendships because I believe one of the greatest attacks on our friendships today is that which is against commitment.
The Bible reminds that ‘A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow!’ (John 10:10) We must acknowledge that the enemy does not take pleasure in seeing God’s people thrive in their relationships, and so he will do whatever it takes to destroy whatever is good.
Like I did not mind the wind until I started to sweep, commitment will not make sense to you until you decide to have healthy and impacting relationships. When we were young, there was something natural about how our friendships sustained themselves without having to put in much effort; but as you grow, you start to realize that the days of losing teeth and a rat gives you money in exchange are gone, and now you have to actually pay sums of money to lose a tooth. Adult friendships require commitment, effort, and maturity if they are to be sustained.
We are often frail and weak; we try our best and fail without the grace of God. The process of building friendships is not supposed to be hard, but if we do it without God, it will be frustrating and exhausting.
Commitment in friendships is what teaches us to be forbearing, enduring, and forgiving. To know that someone might do the same thing again but carrying the willingness to bear with them. It teaches us to learn and understand people’s character and then consequently figure out how to walk with them without trying to change them. The best we can do is hold ourselves accountable against the standard of life that the word of God defines for us, because that is how we change.
Maintaining adult friendships is not as easy as starting or ending them. Maintaining them requires deliberate unselfish choices for them to work. There is always a temptation of finding the effortless way out when things are not going the way we desire, and because we are afraid of conflict and having hard conversations, we end up killing what we would have fought to see thrive.
In my day, we tend to talk about love mostly with a biased inclination towards receiving rather than giving, yet the maturity of love is proved in the giving. When you read the love chapter in Corinthians, it shows us that Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
All this is mostly on the giving end; as you give, the others ought to do the same for you in the cycle of events, and that is what should make the Christian family worth belonging to. There’s hope!
At the end of the day, there are friendships that will fail and those you will have to let go, but it should never be because you failed to do your part as an individual. The truth is that your commitment to anything in this life will be tested, but the success of anything you choose to do will greatly depend on the refinement of your commitment. Commitment proves your allegiance, loyalty, and dedication: it is the act of binding yourself intellectually or emotionally to a course of action. That is the thing that will cause you to endure through every circumstance.
Jesus spoke to his disciples in Matthew 24:12-13 and said that “For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in–nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes. Staying with it–that is what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You will not be sorry, and you’ll be saved. “Now more than ever, our friendships are under attack, and one of the most tested virtues is commitment. The enemy has created excuses for us not to love or receive love; he has made it to look more understandable not to forgive, not to help and carry one another’s burdens. there are more reasons today for not investing in relationships with people than before, but it does not change the fact that we need each other.
God created us to need each other and that is not going to change just because the generations and perspectives on life have changed; and like the bible says, the eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (1 Cor12:21,27)
The earlier we able to see the bigger picture, the better we shall build for our children and children’s children. Most of the choices and decisions we are making today are simply bigger than us; they have so much impact on our future and since we understand what this means, for now let us sow seeds that will be sure to reap in due time.
The year is halfway, and I believe it is the best time to think about and evaluate your friendships. Find out the areas that need patching up, identify gaps that need intervention and figure out the best way to nourish them. If you find places that need an improvement in commitment on your side, do something about it; unless you have reached a level where you need to let go or define new boundaries for some of the friendships you have or are beginning to make.
Otherwise, let’s not forget that we are not doing life alone; God is always with us, and ready to give us wisdom as we make life’s choices and decisions. May the Spirit of God constantly give you discernment and lead you to the right people and in making the decisions that in line with God’s purpose.
Stay Blessed.
#WiGTyT
