According to wikipedia, in human society, family (from Latin: familia) is a group of people related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or affinity (by marriage or other relationship). The purpose of families is to maintain the well-being of its members and of society. Ideally, families would offer predictability, structure, and safety as members mature and participate in the community. In most societies, it is within families that children acquire socialization for life outside the family, and acts as the primary source of attachment, nurturing, and socialization for humans. Additionally, as the basic unit for meeting the basic needs of its members, it provides a sense of boundaries for performing tasks in a safe environment, ideally builds a person into a functional adult, transmits culture, and ensures continuity of humankind with precedents of knowledge.
Probably most of these facts are common knowledge, but I just felt the need to remind us of the importance and relevance of family, seeing that our generation today has found a lot of options.
To some extent, there are some families that have been destroyed or broken because of things we may not have the power as individuals to change, and for such, we pray and believe that God is faithfully crafting them back to a normal and functioning state; but on the other hand, some families are dysfunctional because our generation has lost a certain understanding and also the brevity to fight for what is important, to stand for the relevant, to face situations that are rather uncomfortable to deal with as it used to be with those that valued the essence of family. We don’t know how to communicate appropriately to and with each other, we don’t know how to take responsibility for our choices and unfortunately, this has contributed so much to many wounded relationships in our families and outside, yet they are the place that should define a lot of virtue that forms a functional adult.
Family is a beautiful thing, whether it is defined by consanguinity or otherwise; but we must admit that unless we understand the values that keep families flourishing, we may miss out on very much, God forbid.
When you look back, and there are some choices you made that could have hurt your family members yet there is a way things could have been done better, it is wise to fix that now. Some things may be hard to avoid, but there are some things that can be avoided. We must learn to avoid unnecessary pain in any possible way by the wisdom God gives, because like I said, some things can be avoided.
Your family is not just important when you have big functions and ceremonies whether sad or happy; they are important every day of your life. Let us not be shocked by this reality only when, for example, some body close to us dies, and there is not any more time to spend with them. When God gives you the grace to make peace with your parents if at all you had issues with them, do it; if it is the same with your siblings, do it; but don’t make the mistake of thinking that because you have found yourself with people that you can call family at your workplace, or church or wherever, then you no longer need the people that truly know you and genuinely care about you regardless.
There will be some cases where it has been hard to build a functional family, and you are caught up in that chaos and turmoil; am here to tell you that it’s not yet time to give up because God is able to do anything to save your family. Don’t give up on praying for your family and constantly declaring what you want to see your family become. You are a savior from Zion; an answer to prayer. But also if your family is well, then keep the fire burning. Invest time in loving and caring and praying together and for one another as a family. The enemy is not excited about functional families, but God is faithful.
On the other hand, even though we have functional and healthy families, God brings certain people in our lives that become family too. In them you find the values you uphold, share the same characteristics, you find safety, you are built up and find a real belonging. Such people don’t cut you from your biological family, but kind of add to the happiness and life you already have.
People that have become family by friendship are to be treasured, because they adapt to you regardless of how you have been brought up and the things that by pattern, have made you. They make a lot of sacrifices to be that to you, and therefore should not be treated with entitlement and unrealistic expectations, because unlike your biological family, they can only endure to a certain level of stretching. Thanks be to God for those who stay regardless of who we are or what we become; it takes God, and the responsibility we have toward those relationships to keep them.
Proverbs 17:17 says;
CJB A friend shows his friendship at all times — it is for adversity that [such] a brother is born.
CEV A friend is always a friend, and relatives are born to share our troubles.
DARBY The friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
DRA He that is a friend loveth at all times: and a brother is proved in distress.
ERV A friend loves you all the time, but a brother was born to help in times of trouble.
In this life, like the bible says, there will be troubles and shenanigans, but Jesus promised us that he has overcome the world, giving us hope that we can triumph over anything. Friendships and family relations can be quite interesting, but we must be deliberate like never before, to fight for the beauty of the same. Do whatever it takes to have and maintain peace with your family, and in this life, if you find people that you can confidently call family, outside your basic unit, people that believe in your dreams, and push you to achieve them; people that cover you because they believe in your testimony; people that have sacrificed to love you regardless, people that know you and are not afraid to talk to you when you are not walking like the person they know, people that genuinely pray and stand with you always, people that hold you accountable because of the relationship they have you, people that are real and also real with you, you do well to keep them close, no matter what happens or doesn’t. And as they do that, you do and become the same to them too.
But we must never lose the understanding of what is important and relevant and valuable, just because the world is changing and probably becoming worse than it used to be. We must fight on our knees and continue to hold dear in our hearts what is dear to God and to our hearts.
The famous proverb “Charity begins at home” partly means that a person’s first responsibility is for the needs of their own family and friends. We can still love our own, care and be kind to our own, pray for our own, stand with our own, be happy with our own, invest in our own, be happy with and for our own; as long as life endures and as long as God has lent to us breath, we can still have functional and healthy family relationships and authentic friendships by the grace of God, for He is a God of family.
So as we draw close to the days of Christmas celebrations, let us also remember to cultivate the relationships Jesus died to give life to. His love for us teaches us how to love, his forgiveness teaches us how to forgive, his grace and mercy teach us how to give the same to others for his name’s sake. Then and only then can we claim to be family.
So together, let’s believe and thank the most high for more functional families and family relations, more authentic and real friendships that build and add value. Let the ruins come to life, in Jesus’ name
Let the next year and season give you an opportunity to be intentional and a little more deliberate about your relationships. You have one physical life, make it positively count in the lives of others, to the glory of God our father.
Stay Blessed,
WiGTyT
