The Subtle Trap of Triggers

Conflict in today’s world does not always have to begin with open hostility. There are emotional triggers which, in the absence of direct confrontation, can set the stage for anger and distraction.

Provocation is not always blatant or extreme. They consist of certain words, tones, or actions, and peace is stolen. Focus shifts from the underlying truth. Many believers experience this in direct relation to personal attacks on the Church. When this happens, the real test is not the loud and aggressive defense, but the calm, rational, and Spirit-led composure. Life can involve subtle forms of conflict, and silence can be just as devastating as anger.

Emotional triggers can, however, be just as disruptive to calm and peace. Perhaps even more chilling is that certain people don’t even need to resort to direct attacks. They master the art of emotional provocation, and as soon as they gain the desired reaction from the target, they gain full control of the situation.

Such people can keep an eye on your behavior. They figure out what annoys you, what makes you defensive, what you’re embarrassed about, or what offends you. When they determine that, they start manipulating those emotions, not to solve whatever conflict exists, but to get you to lose your cool. And once you do, they “win.” Not because they were right, but because they controlled the entire narrative. You lose your composure, and they can use that as proof. For example “You’re always angry,” or “Look at how you talk.” All the while, they sit back calm and collected, as you deal with emotional chaos.

It’s never really about communication; it’s about control. For some, the desire to trigger another person is a way to prove superiority, shift blame, or make you perceive a problem that exists emotionally. They take comfort in seeing you lose your peace because it serves to validate their manipulation.

The personal relationship strategy can also be seen in the spiritual domain. Some people really criticize the Church, its leaders, and its teachings using incendiary and inflammatory language. Random, biting, off-the-cuff commentary reveals a lack of authentic engagement. The discrediting of the emotional testimonies of the Church is the goal.

Listen, when believers react inappropriately, the devil is happy because the conversation has shifted away from truth and grace, and toward conflict and division. The enemy seeks to disrupt, to discourage, and to make the Church seem unresponsive, and not driven by the Holy Spirit.

I usually encourage people that self-awareness is the best way to protect yourself. Know which of your buttons can be pressed, which you have a hard time letting go of, which leave you easily agitated. Self-awareness is your defense. Knowing your triggers allows you to track and manage such envious people before they take you by surprise.

Do nothing when provoked. Just the slightest pause in a conversation can prevent the situation from escalating. The pause disrupts their rhythm and gives you the opportunity to select the path of peace. You do not need to overly explain and defend yourself; in fact, do not even respond when you think your opponent is simply trying to provoke you into a verbal argument. You can explain your position in a few words and that is more than enough. You are better protected with your silence than with lengthy narratives, trying to prove a point to someone who has made up their mind to misunderstand you.

The control of your peace is more important than the control of the situation, so do not engage in these so called ‘emotional/spiritual contests.’ When control of the conversation is taken from you, the only way to protect your peace is to stop all participation. Just imagine a person who provokes and you do not respond. That silence is more than a statement; it is a complete argument and a source of peace for you. Calm control is the opposite of weakness; it is pure strength. When you are still and unmoved, you have all the power and you have truly won.

If you are to respond, then make sure your response is aligned with your rational purpose even if you are under pressure. Your response should express who you are, not what somebody else has done. Those who are graceful under pressure infuriate troublemakers. And remember, the first important thing is that your strength must come from your God.

Control over your emotion is the most important spirituality. Ask God to help you to be calm, even if you really want to shout. The best example is expressed in Proverbs 16:32: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city”. 

Keeping your peace is the most important victory in life. When someone tries to push your buttons, especially during a personal confrontation, or attack your faith, don’t let them the satisfaction of seeing you losing your peace. The troublemakers will only be victorious over you if they provoke you.

Please watch this episode for more context: https://youtu.be/tYEuRm8UTGc?si=bFMCq6Vi6C__tv-r

You win if you keep your spirit, your peace, and life.

Rule your spirit!

Stay Blessed.